Work-life balance: why this concept is inherently wrong
Work-life balance – we hear it all the time. It has become so prevalent that no one seems to question it.
I once heard a smart man critique the term and his perspective blew my mind. I was taken aback by the possibility that such a simple and widely accepted concept could be so wrong. If we break it down, “work-life balance” implies that work isn’t part of life, and life isn’t part of work. The concept relies heavily on the notion of having a life only outside of work, and working only so that we can make a living. If we consider that we spend one third of most of our days working, does it mean that we spend that much less living? How can we so easily dismiss all that time we spend creating something with our minds, words, and bodies, and classify it as the opposite of, and competing with, life?
The concept of “work-life balance” is wrong for several reasons:
1. It implies that we balance work against everything else in life
So our family, friends, hobbies, wellness, etc. all fall into one category while work itself falls into the other. Yes, work is important. Yes, by working we make money, which allows us to support ourselves and our families, pay for our hobbies, go to dinner with friends, pay for gym memberships and so on. However, is work really half of the entire equation? Is it so relevant that we should balance it against all the other parts of our life? In a typical wheel of life, “career” is only one of eight categories. The other categories are health, family & friends, romantic relationships, finance, personal development, physical environment, and fun & recreation. Go figure.
2. It gives work an unfair advantage over everything else in life
While many of us spend a big chunk of our lives at work, it rarely tops the list of our values. Most people I’ve coached value relationships, experiences, and health a lot more than they value professional success. However, it’s not uncommon for people to identify themselves with their professional occupations. It’s actually too common for people to categorize one another based on what they do/where they work/what their title is. What if we changed our approach and looked at each other as full persons vs. roles and titles? Wouldn’t that be a bit more human?
3. It implies that work isn’t part of life
Now this one makes me particularly sad because it’s telling me that the way we spend our time at work isn’t considered part of life. If that’s really the case, we ought to be doing something else for work instead of spending a third of our living hours (and even worse – half of our awake hours) not actually living. Isn’t it bizarre that we would ever do that?
So the question is, what are we actually balancing? After pondering that for a bit it occurred to me that at every single moment we’re balancing our LIVES. From work to wellness to family time, friend time, to hobby and travel time, to cooking and cleaning time, and so on. We constantly juggle every single piece of the puzzle that is our life. While we launch one piece into the air, another one briefly lands on our hand and gets our attention. Unfortunately, what happens is that one hand keeps holding the “work” piece and the other hand is juggling all the other pieces. And that’s why we talk about “work-life balance.”
The alternative balancing game
Now imagine this: we juggle all pieces simultaneously. We get a hold of all of them at some point because they are all important. And as we toss one in the air we make room and time for the next one. And so we balance our life.
After I gave it some thought I realized that I don’t want to live the “conventional” way. I don’t want my life to only happen outside of work, and I don’t want my work to not count as part of my life. I want to be able to count everything I do towards life: look forward to every moment with excitement and wonder; experience every moment with joy and gratitude; remember every moment with appreciation. I want my work to fully count towards life and my life to fully embrace work.
Basically, I want a balanced life. If this resonates with you, then the next time you catch yourself thinking about balance remind yourself that the balancing act happens within your life and your life only. And if you crave more balance in your life, don’t hesitate to reach out to me.